Father's Thoughts
by Aria6
Summary: Gaston Brown knows he's the worst father in the world. Yet, he does care about the little monster. So he does something nice for him. Nicolas will probably never understand but Gaston doesn't care.


Gaston Brown knew he was an absolutely shitastic excuse for a father.

Most of the time he didn't care. Nicolas was just a tool, after all. A shitty Twilight like all the other shitty Twilights, he'd be dead in his thirties at the most. What did it matter if Gaston was a crappy father? What did the little monster need a father for anyway? Hugs and kisses? Pffth. What Nic needed was a good belting to keep him in line.

Sometimes though, usually when he was drunk, Gaston got a little maudlin about it. It would always start with regret over Nic's mother. He hadn't actually _meant_ to kill the Twilight whore, it had been an accident. Weren't they supposed to be more durable than that? Gaston had misjudged. And she'd still been a bit weak from the birth. Not to mention he'd been drunk. What annoyed him, sometimes, was the other men. They all thought he'd meant to kill her but that was just fucking _stupid._ He'd had to hire another whore just to bottle feed Nic and keep the little monster changed! Did they think Gaston liked paying money for what could have been free?

From regretting what had happened to the Twilight bitch, though, Gaston would go on to getting a bit maudlin over Nicolas. He really was a good kid, for a runty little squirt. Had his daddy's ears. With any luck, maybe he'd even grow into them. Wasn't the best look on him right now but it was seriously cute. How'd the little monster manage to be so fucking cute?

Nicolas was good for more than his ears though. He'd toughed out his training and could throw a grenade with the best of 'em. Someday, he'd probably even grow into that katana of his. Right now it looked a bit silly in those l'il hands but Gaston knew. Someday his little boy was going to be a badass, just like his daddy. And a monster like his mommy. Badass monster. Gaston liked that.

Of course, all that maudlin shit went by the wayside when he wasn't in his cups. No, most of the time Nic was just a goddamned tool. And yet, Gaston still knew he was probably the worst fucking father in the world. And maybe just knowing that was why he did what he did.

When the Arcangelo boy offered him money to sell him Nicolas, Gaston almost laughed in his face. Sell him his boy? His little monster? Fucking absurd!

Except it wasn't really and as the kid tried to talk him into it, Gaston weighed it in his mind. Yeah, Nicolas was worth more than the Arcangelo boy could pay. But Nic had gotten pretty torn up in the last battle, overdosing on the Celebrer to make his daddy proud. And Gaston had no illusions. The stubborn little shit would do it again, and again, as many times as it took to bring home the win. He loved that about the little monster and it was what made the shitty Twilight valuable.

And yet, Gaston knew it wasn't a good thing. That kind of shit made Twilight's die younger than they should. And technically Nic was only a half-Twilight, he could live longer than most if he was careful with the drugs. But he wouldn't be, not when he was around men twice his size. How else did he win except by getting hopped up on the fucking Celebrer?

Being owned by Arcangelo, now, would be a totally different story. Gaston knew the kid had problems – fucking Arcangelo bastard might even be a shittier father than Gaston, with his little favorites – but still, Nic shouldn't have to OD all the time in a goddamned country estate. Nicolas would have a nice bed to sleep in, three square meals a day and light work, probably for the rest of his fucking life. It would be a good move for the little monster.

So Gaston took the money and told himself he was doing it because Nic was going to die too soon anyway. Little shit deserved a good bed and nice meals before he bit it. And the Arcangelo kid looked like he was getting attached so daddy's little monster would even have a friend. Wasn't that cute? Gaston grinned at himself. Might make himself puke if he kept that up.

Of course, Nicolas would wake up early when they were getting ready to leave. Why couldn't the little shit have slept in for once?

"Cap… captain…!" Oh for fuck's sake. For just a brief moment, Gaston considered trying to sell him on it. But it would make him look weak in front of the men. Fuck that! And maybe even more importantly, Gaston knew Nicolas. If he gave the little shit the slightest hint he wanted him around, the little fucker would be climbing that wrought iron fence to follow him. So he turned and gave Nicolas a lie.

"I don't need good for nothing's in my unit," Gaston said coldly, which was true but ignored the fact that Nicolas was damned well not a good for nothing. "If your symptoms have gotten that bad, it's not worth it to take you to Ergastulum." That was almost the truth, although if Nicolas could just cut back his symptoms would improve instantly. Gaston turned away and his men followed suit. Hopefully that'd be the end of it.

"Fa… fath… er…" Determined little shit. The broken voice almost made Gaston feel guilty. Almost. But he'd made his decision and he was damned well going to follow through. Turning around, Gaston said the words he _knew_ would keep Nicolas from following him.

"Stop pretending you're human, you monster!" And he dropped the pill bottle with a flair, ignoring the 'rain' on Nicolas face. _Don't cry you little shit you're stronger than that._ Then he turned and walked away. Nicolas would never thank him for this, probably never even understand it. But Gaston Brown didn't care.

Wasn't like he needed crappy cards on Father's day anyway.


End file.
